Fat Rant 3 : Staircase Wit

A HUGE thank you to my outta control seat of the pants cast. 🙂

check out:





And my blue dress is from INES .. You can get one here:
(They’re having a 50% off sale – code: SUMMERSALE)

So… What do you think??

87 Responses to “Fat Rant 3 : Staircase Wit”

  1. 1 DawnD June 20, 2008 at 12:22 am

    I love it. Thank you for doing these. I aspire to be you when I grow up. Guess I’d better get started!

    PS: hanks for the fashion links. I always LOVE your clothes!

  2. 2 nuckingfutz June 20, 2008 at 1:37 am

    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

    This is going on the Affirmations page as soon as I can find the code thingy to get it on there.

    As always, Joy, you ROCK.

  3. 3 Froth June 20, 2008 at 1:39 am

    I look back at myself ten years ago and think ‘you poor sod, you’re about to dicover hell’. I look back at myself five years ago and just think ‘you poor sod’.
    I look at myself today and think ‘I’m hot! When did that happen?!’ Life does get better 😀

  4. 4 Froth June 20, 2008 at 1:48 am

    Um, by which I do not mean ‘because I lost weight and everything was dandy’. I mean I had a very unpleasant few years, and since escaping that situation have begun to learn self-esteem.

  5. 5 boobsihazdem June 20, 2008 at 2:06 am

    This is fantastic work. Love it, linked it, totally awesome.

  6. 6 Karin June 20, 2008 at 2:25 am

    Another winner, Joy! I LOVE it! Thank you!!

  7. 7 Autonym June 20, 2008 at 3:22 am

    Wow, this was so great. I’ve had that conversation with people about how great I looked “then”, and how much regret I have that I didn’t know how cute I was.

    It’s infinitely more fun to appreciate my current cuteness than to wish I were something/someone else.

    Thanks for another amazing rant (although this was so smart, educational and thoughtful, I feel that rant might be too limiting a word for it)!

  8. 8 BigLiberty June 20, 2008 at 3:59 am

    This is wonderful, Joy. I’m going to have my teenage stepdaughters watch it. Required watching! I think all health classes should have a “body image” segment where they’re required to air your films.

    Oh yeah, and your body type is pretty much exactly mine, ‘cept I’m a blondie. I want that dress, it looks awesome. The one in the “pregnant” scene, too. And great response to the kids, by the way. Great way to take back the word “fat.” If more kids saw adults using fat as a non-pejorative term, we could start chipping away at the shame kids who are called “fat” are made to feel, and by extension, the adults they will become.

  9. 9 jamboree June 20, 2008 at 4:05 am

    Major girl crush on you, dearie! Well done. 🙂

  10. 10 Robotitron June 20, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Oh, this is so lovely! It actually made me cry, a little. You are so awesome.

  11. 12 sweetmachine June 20, 2008 at 5:35 am

    Joy, you are amazing. I love this video so much, and I hope it leads to a different kind of OBESITY EPIDEMIC BOOGA BOOGA — an epidemic of fat people snarking back at their harassers. It’s like a fat Hollaback movement!

    (And, on a side note, you look completely gorgeous throughout the film. As always!)

  12. 13 Swellanor June 20, 2008 at 6:08 am

    I want to hug you!

    Thanks for making my day!

  13. 14 Sheryl June 20, 2008 at 6:15 am

    Gorgeous, brilliant, affirming and inspiring. Thank you, Joy.

  14. 15 Anna June 20, 2008 at 6:36 am

    Joy, I did a faux pas and put criticm of your video someplace else, when I should have put it here. That was rude of me, and I’m sorry for doing that. This is what I said elsewhere:

    I really like this video. Joy is great in it, as usual.

    And yet, I very much bristle at the idea that “fat hate is one of the last forms of prejudice in which even most people who are subjected to it think they are getting exactly what they deserve.”

    I’ll try and keep that in mind the next time I’m convincing my disabled husband that he doesn’t have to be pathetically grateful to me all the time because I don’t tell him to “suck it up” and get over his disability the way his family did. The same husband who used to dry swallow his medication in private because his parents convinced him that his disability was an inconvenience to the people around him so he didn’t even want to ask people for a glass of water to take his pills with.

    I’ll remember it next time I watch the vid A Girl Like Me and watch a young black girl be obviously physically repulsed at the idea of touching the “doll most like” her.

    I love so much of the FA movement, but I just get so frustrated when I see or read statements like this. I think, yes, most people in Western Society think fat folks are bad and deserve everything bad that happens to them because they’re bad and lazy. I think Joy is right – there is only one life here, and the best way to avoid that “stairway wit” is to practice because heaven knows next time I’m in something that makes me feel sexy someone will toss an insult at my fat ass. I know that I’m considered far more unkempt than my slender coworkers, just for the sin of being fat, and I know that’s wrong, and I appreciate having FA blogs in which to talk about that.

    But a lot of other groups think they’re getting exactly the abuse they deserve, or that they should be pathetically grateful for every scrap of kindness.

    I really want to praise this video without reservation, because I think it’s great. I think it’s amazing and funny and wonderful and I wish I could make more people I know and love watch it and accept it and absorb it. Your first Fat Rant really spoke to me, and got me thinking about and writing about the FA movement, body image and the like. I really felt like you hit it between the eyes with this one and every other one you put you.

    But I just want to stop seeing things compared in ways that they can’t be compared. No one wins here. We just all lose, because your message is lost in the reaction of folks like me to these statements.

  15. 16 Crystal June 20, 2008 at 6:53 am

    If I wasn’t already married, I would propose to you right now! I love this and I love you! You are sooo awesome!

    Oh, and you look SOOOOOO cute right now! xo

  16. 17 polianarchy June 20, 2008 at 7:10 am

    YESSS!!! You used my comeback. I smell internet fame! Ha. Another fabulous video, Joy. You’re on a roll…a delicious, buttery roll.

  17. 18 Becky June 20, 2008 at 7:15 am

    Brilliant! And God, I love your sense of style, I’m so jealous of the clothes you’re wearing in that video!

  18. 19 Meowser June 20, 2008 at 7:16 am

    Thank you, Joy, I loved this video and I loved how you used my line!

  19. 20 sarah June 20, 2008 at 7:22 am

    Thank you so much for making these! You really are so amazing!

  20. 21 jesussavesispend June 20, 2008 at 7:48 am

    I was in the Burger King drive-through the other day, and the lady handing me my drink through the window asked me when I was due.

    In the fucking *drive-through*!! While I was *sitting in my car*!!

    (I wasn’t even wearing one of the outfits that I own that *do* make me look pregnant!)

    I SO SO SO wish I had one of those snappy comebacks ready. But honestly, I was just so *stunned* that I didn’t know how to reply. I just said “Oh, I have a while to go…” and drove away as fast as I could.

    I’m almost positive this person was not trying to be mean. This was not a frat-boy. This was a 50-something grandmotherly type who was probably thinking how much it sucked for me to be pregnant in the hot summertime, and was probably thinking back to her own pregnancies and trying to commiserate.

    STILL … my God, did nobody’s mom teach them ANY manners?!

    You rock, Joy! Thank you for what you do!!

  21. 23 Sass June 20, 2008 at 7:50 am

    Love it! Who is your new partner in crime? She is so hilarious? “But they’re not talking about me…they’re talking about the reeeeaaaallly fat people!” “I was so thin when I was 13.”

    Yay! Love it.

  22. 24 B June 20, 2008 at 8:14 am

    This is awesome! You’re my hero :-).

  23. 25 Miss Laura Mars June 20, 2008 at 8:23 am


  24. 26 JeanC June 20, 2008 at 9:40 am

    A big WEEE HAWWWW!!!!!! I’ve got it posted on my blog and featured on my YouTube channel. Posting the link everyplace I can think of, this is a great vid!

  25. 27 hil June 20, 2008 at 9:54 am

    hahaha i love the way the little skinny guy working on the car looks at you after you say “the night is young”. oh yeah. he wants some of your night. ;D

  26. 28 Liz June 20, 2008 at 10:43 am

    I don’t know how I hadn’t heard of you until I saw Kate Harding’s link to you recently. I watched all three of the fat rants right in a row and almost blew my cover by loudly chortling here at work.

    You are way, way talented (and stylish and pretty — but I figured I’d start with the most substantive).

    Yay for a new bookmarked page!

  27. 29 ZaftigWendy June 20, 2008 at 10:57 am

    Joy, you are A JOY! You make me happy and proud to be a fat woman with a fat husband and fat kids (well, I have one skinny kid – and I think he’s pretty cute, too!)

    I just wanna give ya a BIG FAT SQUISHY HUG!

  28. 30 Charlotte June 20, 2008 at 11:05 am

    Joy, I want to be just like you when I grow up (even though I’m 22). 🙂

  29. 31 Stef June 20, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Fun and inspiring. Way to go!

  30. 32 Miss Plus America Elite June 20, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Hey joy, you know i am loving it!
    Jenna..Miss Plus America Elite

  31. 33 buffpuff June 20, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Fantastic!! But then I wouldn’t expect anything less of you.

  32. 34 worthyourweight June 20, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Another home run! Thank you for these great inspirational Fat Rant videos ^_^

  33. 35 Jane June 20, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    Awesome work. And great supporting cast, too. Well done!

  34. 36 Emmie June 20, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    I’m going to try to be just like you when I grow up! Not only as smart and funny but with your great style and fashion sense too. It’s so true too, you have SUCH a pretty face and a totally FAB body. <3333333

  35. 37 badgerbag June 20, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    I really enjoyed your rant! OMG yes. Right before you said “practice” I said it out loud — it’s the best thing! It’s very good to practice / role play with a couple of friends.

  36. 38 Kate June 20, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! You’re gorgeous and you inspire me 🙂

  37. 39 kathi June 20, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    you give me hope that maybe being fat doesn’t make me worthless.

  38. 40 Jackie June 21, 2008 at 2:59 am

    Awesome! I’m always having staircase wit moments. I understand where you say the best way to deal with bullies and fat haters, is to confront them. I don’t know why I find that so difficult. I consider myself something of a rebel, so I should be cool about it. Perhaps it’s from all the times I tried confronting bullies in high school, and being told by teachers you’re better off ignoring them.

    I also feel alot of the time, when I’m out with my family or friends, like I’m bothering them by getting into a confrontation with someone. Like my sister Rachel, and my dad both are more emotionally sensitive. So if I get into an argument with someone in front of them, they would both freak out.

    I do think in retrospect I am better than most at confronting people about issues, cause I really could care less if that person accepts me or not. Which I know for most people, is a huge thing to get pass. As we all know, if the guy is cute, then it all goes to hell. I mean, everyone wants to feel they’re liked by that cute guy. However if that cute guy is a jerk, he suddenly doesn’t seem as cute anymore.

    The statement about saying you looked so cute at 13 is so true! My mom showed me a picture from when I was 13, and I had that reaction like, “I was that thin?!” However, it was cause I had to run from class to class, and was virtually exhausted all the time. So not worth it.

  39. 41 Tari June 21, 2008 at 4:08 am

    Ass-kicking and fabulous, as usual.

  40. 42 Anuna June 21, 2008 at 8:18 am

    I love this video, and you’re simply amazing.

  41. 43 Amanda d'Adesky June 21, 2008 at 8:28 am


    I have loved you and your attitude since the first time I watched your original “Fat Rant.” Your work just keeps getting better and better, but the original will always be my favorite.

    I’ve been fat pretty much my whole life, and it took me AGES to get to the point where “staircase wit” turned into “lightning fast comeback wit.” Such behavior has garnered me a reputation for being “confrontational” and “bitchy,” but I don’t care. I’d rather dish it right back than sit there and take it!

    And that line about looking back at yourself in ten years and wondering why you didn’t do more of what you enjoyed? None of that for me! I just did the ultimate in “living in the now” for me: my long-time boyfriend and I got married last Saturday (June 14) and danced the night away with 115 of our closest friends at the most talked about wedding reception in my hometown’s recent history. 😀

    People asked me if I was going to diet and exercise like crazy so I could find a “suitable dress” for the wedding. My response? “I was fat when John and I met, I was fat while we were dating, and I’ll be fat when we get married. Why screw up a good thing by becoming skinny?”

    I am 285 pounds of wonderful, caring, witty smartass, and I’m not afraid to show it. Thanks for being a kindred spirit. 😉 Keep these video projects coming!

  42. 44 tekanji June 22, 2008 at 4:55 am

    First of all, I would like to say that I am a big fan of your “Fat Rants”. I think that the message you’re sending is an important one and that your videos have the potential to help people understand why fatphobia is so destructive.

    However, like Anna, I have some reservations about the video. In addition to the one she cited, I have to say that it was jarring to see the black woman in the stereotypical role of aggressor. I’m unsure if the inclusion of her in that particular role was an intentional play on the stereotype, or just an unfortunate coincidence (eg. you needed someone to play the role and she volunteered), but if possible I’d like to know your thoughts on the matter.

    Again, I appreciate your contributions to the FA community and look forward to watching the next video that you put out.

  43. 45 Cass June 22, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    you are awesome!! 🙂

  44. 46 kathryn June 23, 2008 at 4:58 am

    ahh that made me cry, you’re an absolute legend ay, YAY FOR THE WORLD THAT IT HAS PEOPLE LIKE YOU

  45. 47 Amy J. June 23, 2008 at 5:25 am

    What do I THINK???

    I think you’re AWESOME, and that the world needs more people like you… barring that, we need more people to watch these Fat Rants, more people to have that little light go off, more people to GET A CLUE.

    Thank you!

  46. 48 Marshmallow June 23, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    Too freaking awesome for words. 😀 Love love LOVE it!

  47. 49 Piper June 23, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    I absolutely love this, Joy! I just wish that “they” would
    show this on television. Of course, I don’t think that
    will happen until Pluto moves into Aquarius, which is in
    about 16 years. Anyway, keep the videos coming!

  48. 50 Will June 24, 2008 at 1:17 am

    Hey Joy – looks like most of your commenters are female – not I. I watched you’re three rants tonight and skimmed the blog (as I was searching them out) and I feel on the cusp of a different body image understanding. I’ll sleep on it, but I think you’ll have given me a better worldview by the morning.

  49. 51 Abby June 24, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Wow–you are awesome. I only wish I could have had you as my best friend when I was a teenager. How much time I wasted, feeling that I was a loser because I wasn’t dainty and blonde, like all of my classmates. Thank you for speaking out against the status quo that inhibits women in a thousand ways.

  50. 52 meme June 24, 2008 at 11:48 pm

    I’m 29. I’ve had lot of girls, all in deferent shapes 😛 some were small, some were tall, some were slim, but I had only one fat girl. The fact that she didn’t care about that + great personality + sense of humor – made her very sexy.

  51. 53 Rebecca June 25, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Thank you! Your words and just plain SENSE are so encouraging–and yeah, the Fox Hills Mall is the boon of curvy girls everywhere. *grin* Keep up the good work, Joy!

  52. 54 Trick June 25, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Oh Joy. You are absolutely stunning.

    I was only introduced to your videos yesterday.
    Today you have an avid reader.

    You attack the ignorance of people with a sense of humor and lightning wit. We laugh and we learn.

    I’m taking the advice on staircase humor.

    Only a question: Do you think gay jokes are the same?

    Jokes that make someone feel like they deserve to be hated, shunned, or otherwise stigmatized from society.

    Thanks. 🙂

  53. 55 undeadonion June 26, 2008 at 5:46 am

    I really like this one! Even if I don’t exactly agree with hurling insults back at people (I prefer a “Thank you!!! Have a nice day!!!” It leaves em stunned and in a wtf just happened?! state. I usually don’t give assholes the privilege of a snappy comeback), I think the video is really empowering, and I know it’ll give some girls and guys the ability to stand up for themselves when no one else will.

    You and Chenese are to super foxy ladies! Commence to girl crushin’.

  54. 57 another fat girl June 26, 2008 at 1:49 pm

    well, love the video. my favorite part is when the two women interact, as if she’s not fat as well…

  55. 58 Pretty Lady June 26, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    You’re so CUTE!

    (Here via Badgerbag.)

  56. 59 Laura June 27, 2008 at 6:09 am

    I came across this video yesterday and it made me laugh out loud. I LOVE it when you said, “You’d better not speak so loudly or people will hear what an asshole you are!” Wow! 100% true and fabulously spoken.

    Of course I immediately had to track down the previous two videos and I really enjoyed them as well. You are an inspiration. I’ll be sharing these links with everybody I know. 🙂

  57. 61 Carey S July 1, 2008 at 3:06 am

    I wanted to personally thank you for this video!! I have been having to deal with some rather nasty online bullies regarding my weight, and this video really made my day! I think I now know how to deal with these online “bullies” – I’ll make sure to post a link to this video!

    Thank you again SO much for helping yet another fat person feel great about themselves!!! 🙂

  58. 62 CouchGuy July 2, 2008 at 4:04 am

    You are one amazing person! Thank you, Joy! You are certainly well named, because you brought a lot of Joy into my heart this morning with Fat Rant 3. My beautiful wife and I, both big and happy, despair sometimes when the world around us has minds too small to accept all of what we are, as we are. It is their problem, their loss. Thank you so much for the timely reminder of that today.

  59. 63 DeAnne July 7, 2008 at 6:08 am

    Thank you so much for doing these. They almost make me weepy, just from the hope that more of us will stand up to the bigots and the bullies. You’re the grooviest for willing to be our spokesgoddess. 😉

    Oh, and thanks for the fashion links, tres fabu!

  60. 64 Holly July 11, 2008 at 11:33 am

    I think I looooove you!

    Oh you are so very, very wonderful!

  61. 65 celeloriel July 22, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    Why is this video no longer available at YouTube?

  62. 66 jennycieplak July 22, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    You are my hero. AND I love your clothes. You should be so proud of yourself! Not because you’re my hero but because you’re teh awesome.

  63. 67 Annie August 3, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    thank you so much Joy.. I have tears in my eyes….

  64. 68 Theresa September 19, 2008 at 9:26 am

    Joy, I’ve just started reading your blog, but I love you already 🙂 You such a model of empowerment to woman everywhere no matter what our size. I love this video…it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to say to people who like to open their nasty mouths and comment on MY body, or anyone’s body for that matter. Why is it anyone’s business? It’s not! Right? Right! 🙂

    It takes a strong woman to stand up for herself in a town like L.A., I know I grew up there as a fat girl and it was brutal.

    Thank you so much for being beautiful in everyway!


  65. 69 MaddieT October 6, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    I loved your video! I actually had people ask me when my baby was due, to which I replied that I was just fat. It was funny to see them turn bright red and squirm. This country has gotten ridiculous with the comments made to overweight people. It’s not their life, it’s not their body, it’s not their business. Who asked them for an opinion? Free speech, my big white fanny!

  66. 70 Tomoko October 28, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    Seconded with the girlcrush thing. ^^;

  67. 71 S. April 17, 2009 at 5:55 am

    I love your blog, and this video is just… waouw ! I love it… As we say in french : bonne continuation !!!

  68. 72 Blooh May 5, 2009 at 12:54 am

    wish i saw this video 10 years ago!!! thank you so much for making this video. i never hated being fat but i now realize how shameful it makes me feel. well, no more! thanks joy!

  69. 73 Eric September 25, 2009 at 6:55 am

    My wife gets the same thing on the opposite end of the scale (pun intended). She is a little lady and gets ‘you need to eat’, ‘are you anorexic’ and other similar comments. Those hurt too. So big or small, short or tall – don’t be a dick.

  70. 74 AmandaJones October 17, 2010 at 9:20 am

    You are cute! Thank you… I have a sister!

  71. 75 Carisa Harris November 10, 2010 at 12:59 am

    “No, but the night is young.” Hilarious!

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