Archive for November, 2007

Fatshion Paradise.

FYI: The Fox Hills Mall is a magical mythical shopping mecca for the fat girl.

Seriously, if you’re in LA and want to do some damage, this is the effing place to be.
Forget hanging out at that solitary LB. Fox Hills knows where it’s at.
Here are the reasons that I love them.

1) The Lane Bryant there is some kind of test store- this means they have WAY better stuff than all of the other LB’s you have been to. Trust me. I go to a lot of LB’s.

2) They have an entire Cacique store. AN ENTIRE STORE FOR FAT LADIES LINGERIE.

3) They have a brand new Ashley Stewart. Hooray hooray hooray for Ashley Stewart and the bright colors and the loud prints and the big fancy cuts, designs, and ideas.

4) The plus size department in their Macy’s is GIGANTIC. Seriously 4 times bigger than the one in the Sherman Oaks Mall. 7 times bigger than the Beverly Center. 1123!@#weVWGF&* times bigger than the one in the Santa Monica Mall. (That’s because that Macy’s has no Plus section whatsoever. Yeah. I’m never going back.) Anyway, this Macy’s does it right. The whole store is kind of a mess, but for real- they’ve got the goods.

5) They have a HUGE store called MODE PLUS that’s an inbetweenie paradise. It’s like a cheapo Forever 21 for fat girls. I’m squeezing into a 3X there- and I’m a solid 18 or 1X just about everywhere else, so things run a little small at MP, but they’ve got toootally weird, awesome, unique stuff there for the lady sized 12-18.

6) They have an Old Navy.

7) There’s a store called PJ’s that’s got plus sizes.

8 ) JC Penney has plus too.

That is EIGHT CLOTHING STORES I can shop at in a SINGLE SHOPPING MALL.
EIGHT!!! Not one. Not two! EIGHT!!

This means: if I don’t like the way the jeans fit at Lane Bryant, I can WALK ACROSS THE LINOLEUM to the Ashley Stewart, or the Macy’s or any of the above listed, and try on variations on the theme until I find what I like. If I don’t want to look like a big fat Elle Woods, I can walk next-door and dress up like a big fat Fergie or a big fat SJP or or even a big fat Nancy Reagan if I so desire. I don’t just have to SETTLE for whatever I can get my grubby little fingers on. I’m not just resigned to the one idea the buyer had back in Colombus, OH. If I don’t like something, not only can I just not buy it, I can- 10 minutes later- BUY SOMETHING ELSE!!! AND: all this without moving my car ONCE. Gasp gasp pant pant wonder of wonders. In short: I can shop like a straight-size person.

****ATTENTION TORRID!!!*****
YOU HAVE A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE AT

294 Fox Hills Mall
Culver City CA 90230-6482
(310) 390 5073

INTERSECTION OF SLAUSON AND SEPULVEDA.

For reals. That’s the only thing that could possibly make that mall even more awesome.

ETA: It worked! They added a Torrid. Also, PJ’s is gone, and they have a Catherine’s, if that’s the kind of thing you’re into.

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YAY!

I pause for a moment of self-congratulation. 🙂

1)  I got an IMDB page!!

This means I am a real acTOR.  Just about everyone I went to school with has an IMDB page with credits that fill 3 browser windows..  so I guess it’s not that big a deal- but it still feels really good. 🙂  Thank you to Scott Coblio and the Murderess.  Not that murder is awesome or anything. 

2)  I am in BUST Magazine!!

It’s just a little blurb but BUST is like my very favorite magazine and they said very nice things about me.  Even better- they lumped me in with the likes of Kate Harding and the fatshionistas .  Best of all: Beth Ditto is on the cover.  WITH A CAT!!  It’s everything that makes life amazing all in one issue.  Go look at page 18.

3)  My TV pilot Fruit & Fly had a screening for 100+ people and it went awesome!  If anybody knows anybody at LOGO or HERE or MTV who wants to see a totally ridiculous super-gay sketch comedy show… tell them to email me.  We’ll be releasing snippets on YouTube ourselves in the next few weeks too..  so don’t worry your pretty little heads 🙂

And that’s it. 

HOORAY!!

Style for the Fat Man

Mia Tyler  posted a bulletin about Gabe’s blog a few days ago.

This is seriously seriously awesome.

http://plussizekillers.blogspot.com/

A Fat Girl Myself

So I went to see Fat Girls last week with my friend Eva-  The movie was really sweet and funny and weird.  A little jumpy, but hey- it’s a 19 year-old’s first feature.  I sure as hell hadn’t written, directed, and starred in my own movie when I was a Sophomore in college. 

My very favorite part:

Rodney, the main character has 2 friends: Sabrina and Rudy.  Rodney’s gay, Sabrina’s fat, and Rudy is a Cuban refugee.  Fabulously, Rudy and Sabrina fall in love and quick succession, Rudy invites his friends to his family reunion.  The next scene: Rodney and Sabrina are walking through a park to the reunion where a whole heap of family members are yelling and laughing- having the time of their lives. 

Rudy’s in the midst of the crush telling his mother all about his new girlfriend and how much she’ll love Sabrina.  I felt such dread as Sabrina and Rodney crested that hill.  There was no way this was going to be anything but heartbreaking.  I couldn’t imagine any way that woman was going to have anything other than shock and disappointment plastered all over her face once she’d seen all 300 pounds of Sabrina… 

geez.. writing this: I can’t believe I didn’t remember that I’ve HAD that experience.  My very first boyfriend was from Pakistan, and his family hated me.  Not because of my size, but because I was an American, and therefore “experienced”.  Which, by the way, was 9000% not the case.  I had kissed one boy before and that was in a play.  Other than that I don’t even think I’d ever had my hands held. 
I remember one Saturday we’d spent the day at some lake with his church group, my parents were supposed to pick me up at the church at 5 because there was going to be a Pakistani service at 6:30, and Solomon had made it a big point that everyone thought I was some kind of strumpet out to corrupt him and it was best that I not be there.  Naturally, my parents never showed. 
Two hours went by… no answer to any of my phone calls…  I remember hiding in the sanctuary while his family piled into the reception hall.  An entire room, 50 people who- if they didn’t hate me, at the very least strongly disapproved of me and my imaginary reputation.  At the time, I couldn’t think of anything worse.  Eventually, my best friend, the only person I knew with a car- and the only other phone number I had memorized, came to my rescue.  I remember crying all the way home, and when I told my mother what had happened: that they hated me and she’d left me there, she laughed.
Like seriously, I could see it happening for Sabrina..  my greatest hope was that Rodney would save the day and tell everybody to eff off.  But I was so wrong.  Rudy bustles his mother up to the gay and the fat girl, and the woman sucks in her breath and lets out a crow.  “IT IS SO WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU!!  You’re just beautiful!  I’ve heard so much about you!!”   I’m paraphrasing, but the lady was overjoyed.  She starts hugging everybody and Rodney and Sabrina are agog and in bemused shock and I’m sitting there with tears streaming down my face. 
It’s out of control.. that all it takes is somebody being nice.
In summary, Fat Girls is good.  Go see it, and when it comes out, buy it on DVD.

everybody else is doin it…


At Kate’s prompting:
Continue reading ‘everybody else is doin it…’

Fat Girls! The Movie!!

I’m going to see Fat Girls on Wednesday.  CAN NOT wait. 

You should watch it too.

Ash Christian- the filmmaker wrote this:
Go check this movie out if you havent already. Right now it is only showing in LA & NY… Spread the word so the world can see it!!!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Dear Friends,

As you all know, the life of an independent film is determined by its first weekend in theaters and the box office numbers it gets…

“Fat Girls” is a very independent film without the marketing dollars of most indies that are currently coming to theaters… we are trying to get a great opening weekend to continue in the crowded marketplace.

I sincerely hope you will come out and buy a ticket (or buy one online!) for this weekend…and please send this email to your friends and family…. Even if you’ve seen the film before – any bought ticket really matters.

You can buy tickets online at: http://www.movietickets.com

It is just in LA and NY this weekend but opening wider in the coming weeks…but our first weekend has to do well. Please forward this to your friends and email lists, if you can 🙂

In NY it is playing at:

NEW YORK
Quad Cinemas
34 W 13th St
New York, NY 10011
212-255-8800

LOS ANGELES
Regent Showcase
614 N. La Brea Ave.
Los Angeles, CA. 90036
323-934-1770

REVIEW QUOTES:
“DELIGHTFULLY PREPOSTEROUS” A seductive deadpan comedy in the style of Napoleon Dynamite by wunderkind Ash Christian, Fat Girls will leave you smiling.”
-Bay Area Reporter

“Pain and discomfort has rarely been so amusing.”
– San Francisco Station – 4 out of 5 stars

“A guilty pleasure that fans of both “Napoleon Dynamite” and “American Pie” might enjoy.”
Dennis Harvey, Variety

“Cheeky and clever, charming and ultimately infused with a very strong, important message about self-acceptance. As a writer-director,
Christian packs this film with hilarious little touches that keep us giggling.
Rich Cline, Shadows on the Wall

“Completely, beautifully made.”
– John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Shortbus)

“20 year old Ash Christan proves himself a triple-threat, writing, directing and starring”
– HX MAGAZINE by Mark Peikert

“An impressive display of directorial and performance energy… nails the peeved spirit of educational jail with astounding accuracy. This
renewed peek at awkward wonder years gave me a thrill. Christian has nonetheless carved himself out a sharply observed indie siren that
pays light attention to matters of identity.
Brian Orndorf, eFilmCritic.com

“Christian shows some real comic talent here”
– New York Magazine Online

“Kind of low-budget, homegrown indie that deserves a look”
– New York Magazine

“The film is reminiscent of the sleeper hit “Napoleon Dynamite””
– Entertainment Weekly

“Heart-warming reminder of just how special each of our teenage stories are. Ash Christian captures what is best in the campy, low-class realism styles of such famous directors as John Waters, Ed Wood, and even David Lynch while still remaining entirely original in his approach. ”
– Robert, Urban, AfterElton.com

“Think low-budget meets high art with just enough Gus Van Sant, Todd Haynes and John Waters tossed in to make it interesting”
– Byron Beck, Willamette Week/ Portland, Oregon

“Fat Girls” is a hilarious roller coaster ride that careens to an outrageous climax. This auspicious debut announces the arrival of filmmaker and star Ash Christian as a major new talent.
– TheSuperMovie.com

Be sure to check out the website and trailer at: http://www.fatgirls-themovie.com . Released by Regent Releasing and here! Films.

Thanks for all the support,

Ash Christian

MTV and Chicago

So I got to Chicago and hid out with Jake for a few days.  We were on the lam from the MTV True Life crew because thankfully, Jake believes that our bidness is our bidness.

Right.  So: MTV True Life: ‘I’m Happy to be Fat’ has assigned me a brand new little sister in the form of Guido, a very cheerful sort of German cameraman.  Guido is actually not a young girl, but a man whose job it is to behave much in the fashion of how I suppose a little sister would behave.  “What are you doing?  What are you doing?  What are you doing now?  Why are you doing that?  Wait for me!  Will you do that again?  What do you think about it?  What do you think about this?  And this?  Complete sentences please…  How about we do this?  Or this?  Will you do that over again?  Now why are we doing this?”

Guido is very nice- AND he knows my friend Eva.  They worked on a racecar show together.. but the whole hoopla is pretty exhausting.
Aware aware aware always of evvverything you’re doing- AND there are NO PERKS to doing a True Life documentary.  You pay for EVERYTHING.  INCLUDING the things that they suggest for you to do.
“I have an idea!  How about you and your friends rent some bikes at the beach?”  Sure!  That sounds like fun!  “Great!  That’ll be $16.”  uhhh…
“How about you throw a gigantic party for everyone you know now that Fat Rant has passed a million views?”
oh..yeah.. see…  I’d love to, but I’m onto your little game.  I understand that it would be fun, but I really can’t justify spending a poopload of money I don’t have on a party that wasn’t my idea and is going to make up less than 30 seconds of footage.

Anyway, so MTV came with me to New York for the new fat video shoot, and then I went to Chicago without them, where Jake and I ate a lot of pizza, got caught in several rainstorms, wore holes in our feet, (his were better than mine), ate more pizza, met up with my friend Chuck, and then had dinner with Kate Harding and her man Al.
That part was so totally awesome. Partly because it was my first double date ever, and partly because we were transgressing against MTV because we were meeting in secret.  Guido wanted to be there when I met Kate for the first time because I wouldn’t shut up about her and a bunch of other bloggers in the weeks preceding, but I didn’t really want to be on friggin TV when I was doing something I really wanted to -you know?
Like it basically sucks to want to be open and interested and excited, but having to censor yourself for TV.–  it was like being on a first date in front of the nation.  A date that you really care about.  Not like Blind Date or something.  Not that I don’t love Blind Date.  Cause I love it.  It’s been a while, but I still have love…

Anyway- so we had a totally awesome secret rendezvous, and then a really great fake meeting 2 days later.  The great Kate and SweetMachine came to see the Art of Being -the monologue show I’m performing with.. and cause she’s on the ball, she wrote about it when it happened

http://kateharding.net/2007/08/26/i-just-had-dinner/

I have to say, my favorite part of that night was when these 2 fabulous women- Miranda and Kelly- they’d heard about the show I think through my myspace page, and we were talking afterwards and I said “Do you guys read Kate Harding?” and they said “Oh yes!!  We LOVE Kate Harding!”  and I  got to trun to my left and say “THIS IS KATE HARDING!!”
And we all freaked a bunch and it was awesome.



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