Taxicab Confessions

So after I flew back from Chicago (more on that later), the MTV folks (more on that later) rented a taxi for us to get home in..
So, me in some leopard-print stretch pants

and Guido the cameraman

climb into the yellow minivan and the driver says something in another language to his friend who is driving another taxicab.

Our driver yells something and then both men laugh and laugh and Guido says “What’s going on? What’s so funny?” -like in a friendly, just making conversation, let me laugh too, kind of way – not a “wipe that stupid smile off your face” type way. Just to clarify.

Anyhoo, the driver says “oh… I can’t- I don’t want to say it in front of her.” pointing to me.
And I think: he and his friend are talking about my leopard print ass.
I knew I shouldn’t have worn these pants. I can’t believe I’m wearing leggings on TV. Don’t I always make fun of leggings? Why am I wearing leggings??

and THEN I think: leopard leggings aside, who does this man think he is that he can make fun of my ass in front of my face?!
And I start to get really pissed and feeling bad about myself…

when it occurs to me… that maybe he LIKES my spotted rump.
Maybe its a great coup for this man to carry around a fat lady and her cameraman. Maybe he was bragging to his friend in the other taxicab that now he gets to see where I live…

And THEN, I think: maybe this laughing has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! Maybe he and his friends have some really nasty inside joke that he just doesn’t think is appropriate for a woman’s delicate constitution!

I don’t understand why THAT’S not my first conclusion: someone’s rude in a store. I can think either: ‘this cashier thinks I’m totally gross for buying mascara and a Baby Ruth’, OR ‘she’s a miserable person who’s been working for 14 hours straight’. Which is more likely?

I doesn’t have to be either my fault for being fat, or their fault for being a jackass… it can have absolutely nothing to do with any of it!!

ps- is it like standard procedure for the cab drivers to give you their numbers as you leave? cause it’s happening a lot… with notes like “call me so I have your number” scrawled along the edge of the SECOND business card he’s given you in 20 minutes? I don’t know.. maybe I’ve got some mystical cab passenger mojo goin on…

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12 Responses to “Taxicab Confessions”


  1. 1 Dame Wendy September 5, 2007 at 10:50 pm

    I do it too, jump to the “they’re making fun of me, saying something bad, etc” conclusion before my brain shifts past it. There’s all this built in defense that I can’t seem to dance around. It would be interesting to know, the perception vs the reality I bet.

    I have never received a cabby’s number in NYC. San Francisco once but never any other time. You definitely have some mojo going on. 🙂

  2. 2 kateharding September 6, 2007 at 2:01 am

    I doesn’t have to be either my fault for being fat, or their fault for being a jackass… it can have absolutely nothing to do with any of it!!

    I am so embroidering that on a throw pillow.

    ‘Cause it’s happening a lot… with notes like “call me so I have your number” scrawled along the edge of the SECOND business card he’s given you in 20 minutes? I don’t know.. maybe I’ve got some mystical cab passenger mojo goin on…

    Or maybe, um, you’re hot?

  3. 3 deja pseu September 6, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    Those pants are SO hot. I am a freak for leopard print.

    One of the most freeing revelations I’ve ever had is that I am mostly inconsequential to other people. Or, to put it another way, 99.9% of the time I am not the cause of other people’s mishegoss, rudeness, unhappiness, lunacy or dickheadedness. It wasn’t something I said after all!!!

  4. 5 Sarah September 6, 2007 at 3:59 pm

    It’s your hottie mojo, not your cab mojo. Pictures in the last post prove my point!

  5. 6 Tari September 6, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    I have a cab driver thing, too. Also, truckers, garbagemen, and delivery guys. Pretty much any profession that involves driving a vehicle and/or taking stuff from one place to another. These are the guys who tell me how gorgeous I am, ask if I’m married, and try to convince me to go to Vegas with them (I wish I was joking, but it’s happened twice!).

    Don’t get me wrong, a compliment is a compliment (even if it’s a little creepy), and I *am* fabulous…but still. I find it a little disconcerting.

  6. 7 The Rotund September 6, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    A friend and I often sing a little song:

    99.9% of what people doooooOOooOOoOOoOoOOooooo
    has nothing to do with youuuUUuUUuUuUUuuuuuu!

    We’re deliberately off-key and it’s a damn good reminder. People are mired in their own lives and issues and, you know, maybe they ARE making fun of me but it’s a hell of a lot more likely they are worrying that someone else is making fun of them.

    Also, in the case you describe, the cab drivers were TOTALLY talking about your hot leopard-print ass.

  7. 8 melissa September 8, 2007 at 3:20 am

    I always think they are laughing at me too.

  8. 9 sonia September 10, 2007 at 1:59 am

    i don’t take cabs very often here in NYC, but i have gotten phone numbers before. the cabbies here love big girls 😀

  9. 10 Di October 11, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    While I personally think leggings are teh evil, and I’m really opposed to animal print anything, it’s a personal decision. I sometimes think people are laughing at me, but almost never when they actually are – it’s like a shroud of protective obliviousness in my aura.

    As for cabbies giving you their number – they do it because they think you’re hot. Only reason.

  10. 11 Sarah Berkley October 12, 2007 at 7:38 pm

    Joy,

    Met you at Fat Girl Speaks was the one who was hogging up all the “dressing room” and totally accosted you and acted like an ass. I know that narrows it down right?

    Anyhow, the same thing happens to me in taxis, it’s odd. I actually had a driver come knock on my door on “accident” a day later.

    Sarah


  1. 1 Music City Bloggers » Blog Archive » Why We Love Joy Nash Trackback on September 6, 2007 at 2:27 pm

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