New York City!!

So it’s a little belated, but New York was friggin awesome.
So 2 Mondays ago, I got up at the buttcrack o dawn… bought a bluetooth

So I could talk like a robot to the folks at CNN, then a new little red suitcase:



(I wish it was this cute) Because I thought my old little red suitcase was too big, but when I got it home I discovered that the new one was exactly the same size as my old one.

ohhh well…
So I did the blurb for CNN News to Me at my house, and then my friend Marisol drove me to Culver City to whereever it is that they film spots for Inside Edition..
I gave em the runaround and blew the sound guys eardrums with my banshee laugh as per usual…

and then did a bunch of pensive pondering hooha outside of the building.

For reals.
I just sat on a bench gazing across the lawn and the camera guy would zoom in and around in between hacking coughs. He wasn’t having a very good day. He hadn’t eaten yet.

I told the reporter I was gonna meet Meme Roth the next day and she thought that was really awesome. I said I wasn’t too scared. After all, I’m bigger than she is.
SO THEN!!
I hunt down the amazing rockstar car FOX has waiting for me with the absolute BEST driver have had in the 6? times I’ve gotten to ride in an FBI mobile.
Her name was Antoinette, but she said I could call her TaTa.

She was pissed off because the guy who drove the Sparkletts water truck was acting like the parking lot police. She also said things like “AS A HEART ATTACK!!” when I said “Seriously?!” and “I was a diva waaaayyy before I started working for Diva Limousine.” When I told TaTa she had pretty eyes, she acted like she was pulling them out of her head to give to me. “Here you go!!”
Dream come true.

I’m very very very ashamed to say that I didn’t know that you’re supposed to tip your driver when the tv show sends a car for you. So TaTa, Lalo, and Dallas- I’m really really sorry. I seriously didn’t know.. 😦
So THEN!
I get on my airplane and I sit next to this guy named Kushi. He’s studying to be a rabbi and when I tried to shake his hand he said “We don’t shake, so I won’t shake. We salute though. I salute you.” He also told me how to record stuff onto discs from my DVR. He was 22. “People usually think I’m older. It’s probably the beard.”
He was travelling from Australia to New York for his sisters wedding.
He said: “It’s worth it I suppose.”
And THEN!!
Down the aisle onto this plane, comes Catherine Shuller!!

She’s a plus model/image consultant/stylist… everything nuts and amazing. I’d met her like 3 days before at this Divabetic event she’d put on at Paramount-
Anyway- I say HI Catherine! and she says “What are you doing here!” and I say I’m gonna be on the tube! and she says “What are you wearing?!” And I say… I don’t know.. I brought a bunch of stuff.. She says “MEET ME AT THE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL!”
uhhh … ok? So a million hours later we land and meet at the baggage carousel- Catherine lives like around the corner from the hotel they’re putting me up at- so we share that lovely FBI car they send.. and in the lobby at the Doubletree, she unzips her suitcase and starts yanking out all this gorgeous stuff!

She says “You know, the last time I was in this lobby, I was styling Wynonna Judd!”

I’m no Wynonna, but Catherine looks damn good for 2:30 in the morning.

She gave me this beautiful Abby Z dress and slip to wear…

I ended up just wearing the slip as a skirt- my mom would have been really pissed if I didn’t wear that green shirt she spent an arm and a leg on 😉
Anyway.. the Doubletree gives you cookies when you check in. Even if it’s almost 3am.
I had 2 double beds all to myself. I set my alarm halfway through the night so I could get out of one and into the other. I wanted to get my money’s worth. Just kidding.
This is Cynthia on the bed the next day:

I’m great at making a big mess really really fast.
This is me and Kelly Bliss:

She is a genious. and way way cuter than Meme Roth.
Not that anyone is counting. 😉
This is what my face looks like under 19 pounds of makeup:

It’s also what Dan Durkin looks like. I think my face is going to slide off my skull.
oh PS!
I was staying in room 911.

No shit.
I think maybe I thought that hotels would just skip that number.. like how they never have a 13th floor? But no. There I was. 911.
Also in New York, I saw:
My Lovely friend Jas:

One small shoe:

My Glorious friend Aiyana:

My fantasmorgic friend Cynthia (previously mentioned) and her splendiferious mother Marilyn:

Not bad for like 19 hours total in the Big Apple!
There was even time for the two of us to look like jackasses:

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1 Response to “New York City!!”


  1. 1 Kate217 July 3, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    Wow! That was fun; thanks!

    PS – I just got new rimless glasses yesterday. If I had seen this before I ordered them, mine might match yours!


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