Another guest post from the Inbetweenie Midwife! I’ve been working on a few videos that I’ll post soon, but in the meanwhile, here is my best friend and yours with some words on pants.
I live in los angeles. Thusly, bodies rule supreme. THUSLY your worth is judged by your outward appearance. How does a fat/inbetweenie/flat chested/short girl survive!?
“Oh yeah! It must SUCK to lose weight!”
Let’s talk about this for a second. My favorite pair of jeans don’t fit. Not because i’ve shoveled in one too many Bloomin’ Onions (IBS…not pretty), but because in the recent weeks of working and rushing around I’ve lost a few stress related pounds.
The pants that used to make my Inbetweenie bum look cute and sassy, now sag sadly like my SOUL. I made an offhanded remark to a Smart Independent Talented Friend the other day, about how I was sad about my favorite jeans looking like a bloodhound on my ass, and she said, “Oh yeah! it must SUCK to lose weight!”.
Okay, lets go a little deeper into this.
Are you ready for this?
Can you handle it?
I FEEL BETTER WHEN I’M FATTY.
Contrary to what my mother and Los Angeles would have you believe, I LIKE myself better when i’m chubby. When i’m CURVY. When i’m FAT.
I have a deep seated association with with being thin and depressed. Its actually very simple:
The times that I have been happy and healthy I have been fat. The times I have been depressed and self hating, I have been thin.
When I am fat I feel sexy, satisfied and glowing.
When I am thin, I feel awkward, weak and not myself.
I’m sure there is some psychological reason for the above that will eventually afford me 20 cats and a goldfish I call Daddy, but until then I’m at peace with it.
I guess what I’m asking is for folks to understand that happiness and size do not come in one package. I am offended by the assumption that weight loss MUST be a happy accident. How can I be the only person who mourns the loss of her ass?
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to start eating bacon fat sandwiches and throw away your gym card because fat will make you happy. I AM saying take a look at the time line of your life and ask yourself if your best body and best person walk hand in hand. In my opinion they should.
I’m the Inbetweenie Midwife. At your service.